hey, what about me?

What is it about a newborn that we, as long term christians, do not longer have? Where does that passion that we had when we first fell in love with the savior go? When a person accepts Jesus in their hearts, they gain this peace. They receive the Holy Spirit, but are not yet empowered by him. Some could be, but that is besides the point. Why is it that we, who have been so long in Christ have lost that fire that we once had when we first came to Him?I attended SALT this winter break. I saw many people receving, and being baptized by the Holy Spirit. But at the time, I just stood there and watched. I could not help but think, " I already have This. I have already expierenced this." I had been blessed by the Holy Spirit, and God has had mercy upon me, and I was still able to feel his presence. So when I looked back at the many people who so joyfully received God's beautiful empowerment I asked myself, "What is going on here? God, I want more! Give me more! Let me prophecy...Or something, But I just want more from You!" And for some reason the Holy Spirit reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13"1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing."So I was trying to understand what He was trying to tell me. Was it that I did not have any love? Later on that day, I was reading my bible and came accross Luke 15. ( a chapter that I had previously skipped on purpose)Luke 15 gives three stories of how much rejoice God gets over one sinner than a "righteous" person who has no need to repent. So he says in the parable of the Lost Sheep:"7I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."So then I started thinking, Ok, so how will the Lord rejoice in me, if i have already repented? And at that moment, I realized how important it was to the Lord for us to be humbled each day. I kept on reading, and then this stood out:17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer WORTHY to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men."So when he finally did see his father, which is in the next verse, he said again:So he got up and went to his father. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer WORTHY to be called your son.[b]' As I read, I asked myself, why would God have allowed for that sentence (I am not longer worthy) to be mentioned twice in this chapter? I believe He wants to describe grace. Yes, the grace that the father bestows upon the sinner when they truly repent and come to Christ. Obviously, the son in this parable was very sorry for what he had done, he realized that he needed to humble himself and declare, "I am not worthy". So what does a newborn christian have that mature christians tend to forget about? I believe is the fact that they embrace grace. That they humble themselves and say "I am not worthy" How many of us have forgotten the father's grace? Sometimes we get too high up in the clouds, we get too proud, and we become selfish. I can see now why I was not rejoicing with others at SALT , seeing that they were truly being blessed.first)I had forgotten how unworthy I am to be in His beautiful presence.second) I was not rejoicing with my sisters in Christ for their wonderful expierencethird) I thought that this was all about me. All about Me getitng more.Now, I am not saying it is wrong to desire more of God, but like the scriptures say, what good are the gifts of God if I have no love? So I confess my sin, sometimes I can get a little selfish and I do not relaize how much poeple need Jesus as much as I do. So I had selfishness, and that was contaminating my spiritual life. Like someone new in Christ, I have to remember that I am not worthy; withouth Him I am nothing. I felt God asking me, "You want more? Why?" And I think that is what made me discover my sin. Did I want more of his Gifts for my own glory? Or to truly spread the Word and see others being saved at the cross? Oh...He is truly great. He had shown what was wrong in my heart, and so I repented. So I leave you with the end of the story, and a reminder to change the world for Jesus, and to always humble yourself before the Lord.31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "HALLELUJAH, AMEN.