A Conversation

The other day I was having a conversation with God. A much needed one. I often get like this when I let my surroundings get a hold of me. When I let life just happen without acknowledging Him. Towards the end I quote a song by Jason Upton. A song that has ministered to me time after time.


I do need You to speak to me.
Am I disobeying?
Have I chosen a wrong path?

All I want is to be with You forever.
Wanna share a shelter....
Wanna go all over the world.
Wanna speak about You.
Want to go crazy for You.
But I have forgotten my first love.

How can I start again?
How can I go into your quarters if I haven't seen you in a year?
I feel awkward.
Please tell me You don't.
Tell me everything will be okay.
Tell me you haven't forgotten how I look like.
Tell me that you know my every fear,
and that what I most fear isn't true.
Tell me that after not making time for You,
You still love me...

I want to get back to that point where I was dying without your presence.
When did I get so used to not breathing You In?
When did that become the norm?
Your heart feels estranged to me
but I know it's just me.
I feel shy but You don't.

In Your presence, all fear is gone.
Father, i'm returning to the things I used to do.
Because somewhere along the journey,
I think I lost hold of the Truth.
And nothing really satisfies, like when you call my name.
So tell me that you'll never leave me,
and everything will be alright.