It's so easy to be the "crowd"

(Pastor Eli got a crowd together and did the best presentation on what had happened many years ago. He focused on Mark 5:25-34.
He chose a Jesus, some twelve diciples, a crowd, and a humble sweet girl.)

She had been suffering for twelve years. She really was not supposed to be there because she was "unclean" according to society. Her bleeding seperated her from everyone else. Despite her visits to the best doctors, or her attempts to get better, there was no miracle. Until one day, when she had heard enough about this "Jesus". This Jesus of Nazareth who had done so many miracles and healings, she seeked him. She joined that crowd that day, following Him, hoping that she could at least grab a hold of his clothing and she will be healed. So she pushed through the people remaining invisble. She might have even crawled, who knows, but she touched his clothing. And when He realized that power had gone out of him, he asked "Who touched me?"

Ridicoulous, I know. How could he have asked such a question when there was a huge crowd all around Him? Well...She needed to testify.
"17Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ."
-romans 10:17
How can his word be spread? How can people get to know this Jesus? How come miracles seem not to exist anymore? Well, it's all about hearing. "Faith comes from hearing". Hearing what? Our testimonies...

So I ask myself today, when is the last time i got a hold of Jesus? When did I take my time to push through the crowd and not become the crowd?

26From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.
Acts 17:26-27

When I realized my sin I could not help but to think of all the times I have prevented the glory of God in my life. It is so easy to become the "crowd", but it seems complicated when we have to push between the crowd in order to receive his miracle. How will my faith be resembled? Will it be like the woman who just wanted a touch of that cloak, or will it be like the crowd's who were just looking around trying to see what he will do next. Seriously, when is the last time we got a hold of Jesus? When was the last time I got to touch him? And so, I was standing and I started to pray. And I asked for forgiveness, for not seeking.

13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

Somehow I found my back leaning foward, and I felt my knees bending slowly. This happened until I was on my knees, praying for forgiveness. Praying because I have not seeked, because I have not pushed, because I might have prevented many miracles. I stayed there until I could not feel my legs, but it was all worth it. Because in the end, I was able to grab a hold of him, and when I did, I did not let go. And I felt peace. My heart has been satisfied. I sought, and I found him.