The ultimate Benefactor

Benefactor:
1.a person who confers a benefit; kindly helper.
2. a person who makes a bequest or endowment, as to an institution.





Today I attended a luncheon In honor of those who help students achieve their 'dreams'. It was called "Face to Face" because the scholarship recipient gets to meet their benefactor, the person (or the couple) who gives the money for the scholarship they have received. Number twenty-one was my table. You have to understand that I do not care much for these things, especially if it's just a luncheon and all you have to do is hear people talk about how great education is and how one day the world will be different because of us. Cliche, I think. But today I was suppose to meet a person who actually gave money in order for me to graduate. I had to be there and meet them, right? I found table twenty-one and three students were already at the table, waiting for their benefactors. Pretty soon this sweet old man came and shook hands with all of us and I wondered if he was the man who had given me the money. He said something about Mozelle Powell. What? Oh yes, I looked down the name tag and there was the name of the scholarship I had received. I felt pretty dumb, "I should have done more research" I thought. But this old man was not my benefactor because when two staff members told him to take a picture with the recipients I was not called; I was not included. So then I had the brilliant idea of asking those two staff ladies if my benefactor was here, and so I did. "No, they are not here, whoever they are...there's no name here to match you. See?" They gave me an apologetic look to which I replied, "Oh no, it's ok I was just wondering who it was, if they were here, so I could honor them". They just nodded and smiled. I went back to my seat.



I could not help to feel yet again, alone. I silently prayed, "Okay God, I just wrote a note about being lonely and then this happens!? No benefactor, no father, no complete family; what are you trying to tell me?" I instantly remembered the novel titled Jane Eyre. Jane Eyre had a benefactress but she was no help because Jane was still alone. She was considered a dependant, she was told that she was there only because she depended on them, the 'benefactors'. As I sat there thinking about what being dependent meant I felt God speaking to me..."Yes, your father was not there to tell you your worth. Yes, he was not there to provide shelter and protection. I know that you had to go through this without him who was suppose to be your provider, but now that this benefactor of yours is not here does not mean that you have none. Look at that empty chair beside you...that's me. I'm your ultimate benefactor. Do you see now?" And reader, yes I did. I cried.



I've always known that God has provided. I've always told people that if it weren't for God I wouldn't be in college but today when I felt that there was no one to claim me, He did. He sat through that whole meeting with me. He sat through my talk with Mrs. Hall (this other benefactor). He ordained my steps. He poured out once again the Favor. And last, when our university President acknowledged the scholarship recipients I imagined Him clapping together with the other three hundred people in the room, but He was clapping for me. He was, is, and is to be my ultimate benefactor.