A Much Needed Slap

Psalm 31:1 "In you, O Lord, I put my trust; Let me never be ashamed"

I put my trust in Him who knows all things. How dare I think that I know more? I've been running from options; I've been running to options. But all of them fall short because all of them are selfish. I keep on asking Him, "Let me be free, will you set me free?" I keep on saying to take it away, whatever it takes. That is why today the stinging slap on my cheek penetrates my soul as my eyes get watery of so much pain. What did Jesus say about slaps? Turn the other cheek. I stare into nothing; I stand with tears rolling down hurting the red mark on my face. I stand and hesitate to turn the other cheek, but I do.

Jesus never completed this story, so I don't know what to expect. I wait for my other cheek to hurt like the first slap, yet there is no sting. There is no "I told you so"; there's just grace. Oh thank you...oh thank you. I cannot bare the shame; I cannot bare this shame. It's been two years? Two years that you've warned me. In those days of old you have given me plenty of exits. You have opened doors like a gentleman waiting for the lady to walk through. But the lady has rejected Him. That lady. She is me.

All this time I thought this was the best I could ever had...¿Quién quiere más? Pero escuchaste mi petición; You heard my cry, "Let not shame stand in my way". You heard it and you remembered. You were determined to prevent hurt and that's why you slapped me. You discipline those whom you love. Yes, you do love me after all. The tears I have are not because you slapped me, it is because you had to get to that point in order for me to listen. That's why it hurts. That's why it stings. When I slowly turned my head to give you the other naked mejilla, you stopped me from turning; you held my hand. There's not use in giving la otra because you know I've learned. I stand there like Abraham so glad he didn't have to kill Isaac. You don't demand me to kill; you demand me to obey. There is no shame in your grace.